See Hugh And Cry

‘MOST of us only see the countryside as we drive down the motorway from one urban sprawl to the next (note: it’s the space just beyond the grass verge). But since the county of Dorset has no motorway, it’s left to Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall to show us what it looks like down thar.

”I wasn’t getting minced tomorow, I’d probably top myself anyway”

And it looks like the version of countryside Britain Beatrix Potter thought was too twee for her menagerie of talking animals to inhabit.

Last night, Hugh told us how to spiritually heel a calf called Trilby, watch a hen’s egg boil into life and coax a pig though an assault course of traffic cones.

He then went to the seaside, where armed with a simple rod and line, he promptly caught more fish than a Spanish trawlerman, before returning to his River Cottage home and the chance to cook some homegrown courgettes.

The buzzword was ”delightful”, the music was upbeat jazzy skittle and Hugh was in his country idyll.

Of course, it’s all utter bilge. In reality, Hugh is a media hungry Channel 4 ham, and the countryside is peopled with fox hunters, petrol rebels and people called Wayne and Bianca.

Even the first-rate beef and designer vegetables Hugh is so proud of can be bought for a fraction of the effort and cost at the local hypermarket.

But could it be no-one has told Hugh? If he carries on in the current vein, local media students will start making programmes about him.

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Posted: 14th, August 2002 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink