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Anorak | Ave It All Maria

Ave It All Maria

by | 2nd, September 2002

‘Tricky Dicky’s money worries are spiralling out of control. The bank is threatening to close in on his loan, his swanky flats are now worth slightly less than a caravan in the Ukraine and the wedding bills are piling in. Gail has agreed to re-mortgage the house for him but on hearing that the bank will only lend her £17,000, Richard knows it’s time to turn to desperate measures.

Rather than get out the shovel, which seems to be his favourite method of parting women from their money, he decides to convince Audreh that she’s going mad and get power of attorney over her money. Audreh’s grasp on reality has always been tenuous to say the least (she still maintains that she’s under 50) so it shouldn’t take too much to tip her over the edge.

Someone else who’s clearly mental is Kevin: having escaped the clutches of the Black Widow once, he’s now back for a second dose. Last week Kevin and Sally shared an intimate moment over the washing up bowl but the morning after, Sally decided it had all been a horrible mistake. ”I wish I had mistakes like that in my life,” signed Eileen when Sally whinged to her over a digestive.

But of course nothing is ever good enough for Little Miss Perfect. Sally should get down on her knees and thank God that she’s got someone who’s prepared to care for her and her two devil children and live off a diet of spaghetti hoops for the rest of their lives.

Maria knows when she’s on to a good thing, and she’s 20 years younger than Sally. The lovely hairdresser agreed to go to Canada with Nick and even Tyrone’s last minute to dash to the airport couldn’t change her mind. Something tells me that Tyrone shouldn’t give up hope though as I suspect that the charms of living with a cardboard boy will wear off soon enough.

There’s also love brewing between Fiz and Kirk. A more perfect couple it’s difficult to imagine, they’re the Krankies on acid. Shelly and Peter are also back together as Peter finally realised that his best mate Kieran was actually a member of Boyzone in disguise and kicked him out.

Ken is getting into his role as the Weatherfield Gazette’s Agony Aunt, Hermione, with alarming ease. He’ll be sporting floral smocks before long and appearing on ‘This Morning’, offering advice on the menopause. Everyone who said that Ken was an old woman are about to be proved right.



Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink