Dead Of Alive?

‘WOULD you know if you were already dead?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse

For those of you who spend all your time watching daytime television, this matters not.

To you, life is what happens inside the magic box. And if your own wooden box has an aerial, then so much the better.

We ask this because an article in the Telegraph says that we should have all perished yesterday in an onslaught of electro-magnetic waves, transmitted by Communist guerrillas.

The Panawave Laboratory cult, a Japanese group who believe such things to be true, are pressing on regardless, and dressing themselves and their property in white, which they say deflects the harmful waves.

The colonel for these nuts is one Yuko Chino, a woman who says that her death could trigger a holy war. Sad to say that Miss Chino is terminally ill and has only a few days to live.

So if we’re not dead now, the news is that we could be by Tuesday - but not until EastEnders has finished. Which is something of a relief…

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Posted: 16th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink