Paying The Penalty

‘LIKE the results of a football penalty shoot-out, the Times lists with crosses and ticks the failure and success of each of Gordon Brown’s five economic tests for euro acceptance.

As Gordon drones on, Tony stares up at whence he came

The score is four to one in favour of the crosses, although the Independent puts the score much closer at 2-1 to the ”nos” and has referred two tests to the Russian linesman.

With the result in limbo, the Telegraph (”The euro tests”), Times (”euro verdict”), and Guardian (”Britain and the euro”) bombard us with separate pull-out reports on the match of the century.

Only the Telegraph bothers to punctuate the welter of words with a cartoon. With a nod to Waiting For Godot, Samuel Beckett’s play about the pointlessness of life, Gordon and Tony are located, appropriately enough, in the woods.

”That passed the time,” says Gordon. ”It would have passed in any case…” replies Tony.

At least the Independent keeps an eye out for what’s happening abroad, and as promised we bring you another story from life overseas.

A mosquito that can carry the lethal West Nile virus has been spotted living in an illegal colony close to the Scottish village of Menstrie, Clackmannanshire.

Already over 40 Brits have been bitten by the nasty wee beasties, which are believed to have arrived from Europe…”in a lorry”.

They are also believed to have arrived with no euros.

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Posted: 10th, June 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink