The English Armada

‘WHEN the Spanish Armada set sail for England in 1588, little could they have realised the terrible revenge England would wreak four centuries later.

‘Are you the ugly one who used to be in EastEnders?’

An armada of our own left these shores a couple of weeks ago, destination ‘the upmarket, cosmopolitan resort where the Spanish royal family keep their yacht’, Puerto Banus.

The cargo? Former soap stars like Dean Gaffney and Chris Bisson; Jordan, the world’s largest importer of silicone; and hosts Tony Truman and girlfriend Charlie Brooks.

‘Naturally such a host of celebrities attracted attention,’ OK! observes, ‘and Dean Gaffney was even asked to present an award for a local radio station’s Beach Babe Of the Week.’

An upmarket and cosmopolitan Beach Babe Of the Week competition, we assume.

But they were only the latest of a long line of British celebrities to head for the resort.

‘In the past few weeks, TV presenter Jeff Brazier has been spotted out and about in what has been dubbed Spain’s St Tropez,’ OK! assures us, ‘as have Rachel Stevens and Jeremy Edwards and the girls from Liberty X, as well as Nell McAndrew with her fiance Paul Hardcastle.

‘Tracy Shaw is looking to buy a property in the area, where boxer Prince Naseem Hamed already has a house, as have Kevin Kennedy and Beverley Callard – best known for their roles in Coronation Street.’

Oh, King Philip II – had you known then what you know now…

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Posted: 14th, July 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink