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Anorak | Carry On Nurse

Carry On Nurse

by | 14th, August 2003

‘OHMYGOD! Did you see who has just walked into the Wellington Club? Don’t turn around! She’ll see you.

Abi arrives to receive her Anorak Showbiz Pal award

We knew we’d see celebrities at this Knightsbridge venue and snagging the table by the door has given us the perfect vantage point.

Since for fear of embarrassment you can’t look, we’ll describe her to you. She’s blonde and… No, it’s not Vanessa Feltz, although that would be a-ma-zing.

No, this celeb’s a nurse by profession… No, not Claire Goose. Claire only pretends to be a nurse on telly’s Casualty. But good guess.

This one is a real nurse. She goes out with John Leslie. Had enough? You can guess now. Come on. What’s the matter, are you so awestruck that you’ve lost all powers of speech?

What do you mean Anthea Turner?

It’s Abi Titmuss, you fool. Yes, THE Abi Titmuss. The Express snapper’s seen her and has started taking photos. A quick word with the photographer reveals that she’s now off to the Funky Buddha, a fashionable club in London’s Mayfair.

Grab your coat – we’ve pulled ourselves a real celeb. Quick! She’s going and without so much as a wave to her most ardent fan.

We are among the third of the population who, according to the Mirror, are experiencing some degree of Celebrity Worship Syndrome.

These poor sufferers believe they have a special bond with the star, failing to realise that only a chosen few of us actually get to rub up close to the showbiz big guns.

As the same piece goes onto say, a mere one per cent are true fans, what Dr Lynn McCutheon and Dr James Houran who have spotted the syndrome call ”borderline pathological”.

This VIP group includes stalkers and people prepared to do damage to themselves or others in the name of their idol. Not that we’d do that. We love Abi.

And now we’re in the cab with Abi, we can tell her. Abi… Abi… Where are you going? Stop running! You’d think that a girl who dates John Leslie wouldn’t frighten so easily…



Posted: 14th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink