The Great Shark Hunt

‘WE’VE seen tomorrow and peered at what 2020 holds in store and now we learn that in years to come a fish could be the leader of the Labour Party’s PR department.

‘I have never had sex with Monica Lewinsky’

The Times has read a joint report from scientists at the universities of Edinburgh, Leeds and St Andrews and learnt that fish are “cunning, manipulative, cultured and socially aware”.

Could then a guppy Peter Mandelson rise to prominence in political circles?

Could a carp lead the world into peace, dismantling the nefarious Reef of Evil formed by those devilish pike, trout and herring?

The team write in the journal Fish & Fisheries, a think tank of political intrigue, that the image of fish as being dumb is gone.

“Now, fish are regarded as steeped in social intelligence, pursuing Machiavellian strategies of manipulation, punishment and reconciliation, exhibiting stable cultural traditions, and co-operating to inspect predators and catch food,” they write.

And unlike Tony Blair and his shoal, they don’t leave a nasty taste in the mouth. Looks like Tone’s had his chips…’

Posted: 1st, September 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink