Sleep Of The Just

‘HAVE you ever wondered what your sleeping position reveals about your personality? No, neither have we. But some people have got nothing better to do with their time than researching this sort of thing.

‘Offside!’

Professor Chris Idzikowski is, the Telegraph informs us, “Britain’s leading sleep expert”. And he reckons that he can tell a lot about a person from whether they sleep in the foetal position, or any of the other options he has identified, such as The Yearner (suspicious, with a rational approach to life), The Soldier (quiet, loathes noisy social scenes) etc, etc.

Space prevents us from running through the full list, but we were particularly interested in The Adams (flat on back in pool of urine) and The Hitler (right palm held aloft) both of which indicate strong leadership qualities coupled with complex personal issues.

Most pleasing of all is The Anorak (arms folded, legs crossed, pipe in mouth).

This indicates reliability, common sense and an ability to watch golf on television for hours at a time, untroubled by doubts about his sexuality and happily oblivious to events in other, less agreeable parts of the world.’

Posted: 16th, September 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink