Off Yer Shopping Trolley

‘FEW things are more satisfying that watching a couple have a really good row in public. It makes you feel so much better about your own relationship - and makes for great cabaret.

Shopaholic Vicky shows Day-vid what to do while she’s shopping

While we today launch our search for the best rowers in Britain (send a recoding of the barney to the usual address), the Express discovers that the best place for a set to is the shopping mall.

The paper has heard from psychologist Dr Tim Denison, who says that primeval instincts dictate that men can only shop for 72 minutes at a stretch. Women can go on for nearly half an hour longer.

What with men being the hunters and women the gatherers, genetics say that both will end up is full-blown slanging match at 12 minutes past the hour.

This is manifest in many ways, but key, to the good doctor, who knows about such things, is that whereas women will browse, as if looking for wild berries and grubs, men will hone in on their prey, whether it be that Mammoth or those fetching Comfi-Slax.

But we have moved on somewhat. And the Star says that to prevent a good open-air row, couples should split up and shop separately, meeting up later to compare purchases over a refreshing coffee.

And we say, why stop there? Why not bring the toddlers and granny along? Make a day of it. And if you don’t have any of your own, you can always rent some.’

Posted: 17th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink