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Anorak | Breaking Wind

Breaking Wind

by | 19th, September 2003

‘EXCUSE the interference, but writing this while standing in the eye of hurricane Isabel is a tricky thing.

Ever the professional, snapper Jim Bulb took this picture as he was blown away

It’s not the storm that’s causing the turbulence but the millions of other journalists, reporters, surfers, and lunatics who have joined us for better view of the 125mph whirlpool of wind.

Looking towards the mainland, we, like the Mail, can just make out the words of greeting left by Americans who have abandoned their homes along the eastern seaboard.

“Blow, Izzy, Blow,” reads one. “Life was swell before Isabel,” comes another. “Who shot Lord Archer?” asks a third, this one written on a T-shirt.

Looking up we can just make out the banner trailing from an overhead plane. It looks like the Presidential jet. Since the Star says that George Bush has “fled” Washington, which lies in the storm’s path, it must be.

“See you in Hell, suckers,” says the banner. “Remember God loves you – but he loves me more. It’s my duty to live on after you’ve been swept out to sea and swallowed up by an enormous whale.”

You’ll have to forgive the Mirror’s man in the eye of the storm, Anthony Harwood, for not adding the President’s farewell message to his report. The lad’s got his work cut out just standing still.

A photographer has managed to take a shot of brave Harwood clutching what looks like lamppost as all around waves crash and the wind whistles.

And then a tap on the shoulder. “It’s like a sand blaster,” says the man, identified by the Mirror as Nick McClintock, a pipefitter using his welding mask to view the spectacle.

“It’s God’s revenge,” says another storm watcher. “As soon as we killed his son Lord Archer I knew we were in trouble. God’s angry. He wants a sacrifice – it’s the only way to appease him.”

So we appeal to you Tony Blair – stop praying and go and wake Leo. It is time…’



Posted: 19th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink