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Anorak | More Blood, Vicar?

More Blood, Vicar?

by | 10th, October 2003

‘ARE you afraid of vampires? Before you answer with a dismissive laugh, turn to page 11 of today’s Telegraph…

It looks like a wooden stake to us, Iain

See what we mean? Terrifying isn’t it? No, not the bloke in the pancake make-up with the fangs – he’s a C of E vicar. Or to be more precise, a ‘vicar ‘terrorised by howling vampires”.

To be strictly correct, he is Christopher Rowbrey, vicar of St Mary’s Ching in Eling, Hants, and he’s in the paper because he is accusing three local citizens of religious harassment of a Christian.

He alleges that the defendants did unspeakable things outside his house and pursued a hate campaign involving obscene pictures, vandalism and other unpleasant behaviour that we’d rather not go into on a family website.

If true, we are sure that this was very distressing for the Rev.

But ladies and gentlemen of the media jury, we ask you to look again at the young people before you. With their inane smiles and ungainly posture, do they look scary to you?

Isn’t it more likely that, noticing Christopher’s iconic looks – more Lee than Rowberry – they simply expressed their admiration through the time-honoured method of the shy adolescent: by disguising infatuation with ‘hatred’? Were they, in effect, ‘only being friendly’?

Rowberry admits to calling out: ‘Why don’t you come over here and howl, you cowards?’

We are not suggesting culpability on his part of course, but young people are easily misled by ‘mixed messages’.

We suggest that the vicar adopts a more conventional look in future, by choosing a new wardrobe from Anorak’s practical yet stylish range of leisurewear – and he might think of taking up pipe-smoking while he’s about it.

Then he should invite these troubled young people round to the rectory.

Who knows? With the wise guidance of a ‘role model’ whom they already admire, they could find themselves swapping their usual goblet of foaming blood for a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.’



Posted: 10th, October 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink