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Spit And Turkish

by | 16th, October 2003

‘GIVEN that we know what David Beckham does each minute of his life, the Independent’s news that we missed a few incidents is in itself a sensation.

A horrible little scrote

Helping us to plug these painful gaps in our Beckham vision is Turkish player Alpay, who appears to have been the only human alive to have seen David Beckham headbutt him and then spit on his shirt.

“If the spit had hit me on the head I wouldn’t have been annoyed,” says the Aston Villa defender, “but it hit the crescent and the star on my Turkey shirt.”

But let’s not feel too sorry for the patriotic lad, because if the story is true – and forensics can check it – that shirt is now worth a small fortune.

And on the subject of things small and unpleasant, the Times has a picture of Dennis Wise, the unlovely Millwall footballer who is in line to become the club’s unlovely new coach.

By way of an apprenticeship the club’s owner, Theo Paphitis, has made Wise the caretaker manager of team affairs following the departure of Mark McGhee.

No word is heard of the pint-sized friend to the London cabbie, but a cartoon in the paper seems to say so very much.

A Millwall player has retuned home and is telling his wife: “Training?…Oh fine, today we learnt how to wind people up.”

If only Dennis Wise could be made to play in England’s rugby union World Cup match against South Africa this Saturday. That would, as the football parlance goes, learn ‘im.

It is rare for rugby to make the move to the news pages proper but today it does just that in the Times, where the big game is profiled.

In “locking horns with the Springboks”, the paper picks over the fractured bones and the frayed flesh of past England versus South Africa clashes.

“We need fire in the heart and ice in the brain,” says South Africa’s captain Corne Krige, who also needs some luck and, if the past match between the sides is any guide, boxing gloves and a blind referee.

But, as the paper says, England are “not exactly choirboys”, although a few flying South African elbows and crafty fists might make them sound so on Saturday.’



Posted: 16th, October 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink