The Wedding Planners

‘WHEN Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck failed to get married, caterers in Hollywood were presented with a problem.

Demi and Ashton are like pineapple and cheese

What could they do with the thousands of miniature pork pies, cocktail sausages and slices of cheese and pineapple on sticks that they’d cooked up for the big do?

A food drop to the poor and starving of the world was one plan, but it was aborted when the US military stepped in and suggested the Iraqis, Afghanis and just about everybody else would use the cocktail sticks as weapons and invade America.

The only option was so obvious that we can only wonder why no one thought of it in time to save the wedding jam roly poly cake from congealing. Why not use the food to feed three other weddings?

So a note was posted on the Hollywood sign, which said that the first three couples to announce their intention to marry in this week’s National Enquirer would get their party catered for free.

So step forward Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Leo DiCaprio and Gisele Bundchen, and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

All three couples are delighted to tell the world about their plans for marital harmony and in so doing take advantage of the caterer’s and, by implication, Ben and Jen’s largesse.

Who now says that Jen and Ben are a pair of self-centred fools who only do things for the publicity? Not us – and that’s not just because our mouth is full of jellied eel…’

Posted: 24th, October 2003 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink