Floating Your Boat

‘IN the classic stage musical Anything Goes, the ship’s captain loudly bemoans the lack of celebrities aboard his vessel.

‘Yes, I’ve met all the TV greats: Paul Ross, Bobby Ball, Melanie Sykes…’

And what went for the 1930s is so today, as the Sun casts an eye over the passenger list on the Aurora, aka the Bug Boat.

With 1,800 passengers trapped onboard the infected ship, you might expect to find a light entertainer, famous gangster or Paul Ross onboard.

But all the paper finds is the aptly-named Michelle Seaborn, the “star” of television’s Wife Swap.

But chin up. Perhaps Michelle is using her unique TV credentials to conduct a similar experiment to the one that propelled her to fame, inducing couples to split themselves between random cabins.

Any passengers exhausted by the endless rows and abuse can cast their eyes to the horizon and note the approaching mass of rusting metal.

The Mail knows this vision to be the “Ghost Fleet”, a flotilla of four heavily-polluted American ships being dragged over The Pond for a clean-up in British waters.

Although described as “toxic timebombs”, there is nothing we can do to stop them ending up in our coastal waters.

All we can do is wait and hope that when clean and refitted they offer a few more of us the chance to cruise the ocean waves and thus meet interesting and talented people like Michelle Seaborn.’

Posted: 6th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink