Anorak

Anorak | Massacre Of The Innocent

Massacre Of The Innocent

by | 27th, November 2003

‘ONCE more the Queen fought back the temptation to give full throat to whatever feelings she holds and read the lines Tony Blair wanted her to in what is still called The Queen’s Speech.

‘And my Government will strike down with great vengeance the following…’

The introduction of free gin for primary school children and the compulsory wearing of large ears whenever Charles is out of the country will have to wait.

For now, the Guardian reports, we just have the 30 full bills Her Majesty read out yesterday to mull over.

The main points are the introduction of a new form of student financing, including fees of up to £3,000; the placing of children of failed asylum seekers into care if the parents refuse to leave for home; and the final eradication of hereditary peers from the House of Lords.

These are all exciting things, particularly the creation of a tribe of homeless children separated form the parents by political expediency.

‘I didn’t come into politics to be the King Herod of the Labour Party,’ says Home Secretary David Blunkett, the brains behind this scheme.

But if not to be Herod, why did he come into politics? Perhaps he just chose the wrong door, it being so much like the one marked ‘Lunatic’.

As Tony throws toddlers into the flames of economic and political necessity, and Blunkett, now dressed as wise King Solomon, forgets to stop and actually cuts babies in half, Christmas prepares to be cancelled.

Well, not all of it – Leo will still dress up as Joseph for the Christmas nativity play and talk about how he will not make a single mother out of Mary but stand by her and so protect the overburdened social services from another sponger.

It’s just there will be no carol singing. Well, not unless the would-be singers first obtain approval from the local authority.

Successful applicants will be handed a hymn sheet; the unsuccessful will have their tongues cut form their heads.

So it is said.’



Posted: 27th, November 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink