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Anorak | Thong For Whoever

Thong For Whoever

by | 28th, November 2003

‘FROM talk of Victoria Beckham to the headline “I’m Talentless” is, of course, a leap of Beamonesque proportions.

Straight from the horse’s mouth

And it goes without saying that it is not Mrs B who has been drawn by the Star into an admission of her own inadequacy.

But the list of possible candidates is such a long and undistinguished one that we cannot leave you in suspense a moment longer before we reveal the identity of the self-deprecating star.

Actually, we can – so by way of a clue we turn to the Star’s gossip pages where we learn that Jordan has, to use the rugby parlance, kicked men into touch.

“Women bond better than a guy and a girl,” says our overinflated friend. “It’s nature, isn’t it?

“How can men fully understand women completely when they don’t have the same bodies?”

By that token, 99% of the female population would struggle to understand Jordan as well, but one person who wouldn’t is of course Anorak favourite Lucy Pinder.

The Star has a picture of the two buxom lasses together at the recent UK premiere of Spun and rubs its sweaty palms together wondering whether the two could soon become one.

Or, more realistically, the four become two.

Of course, you are probably no nearer guessing the identity of the talentless one we mentioned above, so by way of a final clue we draw your attention to Lara Croft model Lucy Clarkson and her all too conspicuous pink thong.

Still don’t know who it is yet? Let’s look at the evidence – big breasts, flashes her thong…welcome to the wonderful 34D world of Jodie Marsh.’



Posted: 28th, November 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink