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Anorak | No Sex Appeal

No Sex Appeal

by | 1st, December 2003

‘SEX should only be for the sexy. We mean not the actual act, which needs only consent and proof of age, but talking about it in public.

Love’s young dream

Fine if Lucy Pinder, the Star’s cover model, wants to tell us about her romps in the hay, but less so when the headline to the left of her foremost protrusion announces: “DEC: I WASN’T GETTING ANY SEX.”

The Dec is Declan Donnelly, the miniscule host of Pop Idol. He split from his “childhood sweetheart” Clare Buckfield, whom he dated for ten years, because he wasn’t getting any sex.

“I haven’t had any action for ages,” says Dec. “It’s quite depressing when you’re too hectic working for nookie.”

The thousands of blue-rinsed women who make up Dec’s fan-base will recoil in horror at the idea that squeaky clean Dec got any in the first place and then wonder why the nine-year-old star is thinking of such adult pursuits.

But children are often a

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Posted: 1st, December 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink