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by | 15th, December 2003

‘“ALL I want for Christmas are my two front teeth…”

”I hope the elves are alright”

Ah, the simple innocence of youthful desire. Time has moved on from such humble wishes and now, as junior wanders wide-eyed through Santa’s megastore, he wants it all.

Santa is, of course, otherwise engaged. It’s either him – or someone doing a passable impression of the bearded chap – who’s been caught down a hole in Iraq.

In Santa’s sack was £750,000 of US currency, two AK-47 rifles and no, not a partridge in a pear tree, but rather an orange and white taxi.

So if you want any of that lot this holiday season, best to write another list and slip it into the wallet of the one you love.

David Beckham might well have done just that, and the Sun sees his wife out buying for her Day-vid in a Kent shopping centre.

While there, she approached 19-year-old Carl Sheehan and asked if he could help her pick out a coat for her husband and get her some publicity.

“I didn’t know who she was and felt so stupid when I found out,” says Carl. “It was very weird choosing Becks’ Christmas present – I hope he won’t blame me if it doesn’t fit.”

Since those his ‘n’ hers AK-47s have been impounded by American forces, it’s unlikely that any blame will prove fatal.

And while Posh buys her man an anorak, the Sun says that Paul McCartney has given his wife, Heather, the greatest gift of all – her very own song.

Called Mother And Child, the song was originally planned to appear on the Beatles’ album Let It Be but never saw the light of day.

Now, years later, it will be played on the McCartney stereo on Christmas Day.

“He is determined, this song belongs to Heather,” says a source – something Yoko Ono and the rest of the Beatles clan might like to think about.

“Heather will be blown away. She was no idea of what Paul is planning.”

Well, she does now. And Paul might like to consider another gift by way of a surprise.

The orange taxi/sleigh is still unclaimed, although Heather might prefer Santa’s suitcase full of cash…’



Posted: 15th, December 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink