A Celebrity Wind-Up

‘WE are used to trains being delayed and cancelled because of the wrong kind of snow on the line, but now even the promised snow can’t arrive on time.

In emergencies, Jordan doubles as a three-man liferaft

But like British Rail of old, it’s getting here – albeit a bit more slowly than expected after setting off from Canada 24 hours late.

And the Sun warns that the UK will be colder than Greenland when it eventually arrives, with temperatures set to plummet to –14C in parts of Scotland.

Coastal areas will “be lashed with heavy rain and freezing sleet”, while the Midlands can expect as much as six inches if snow in 24 hours.

As we follow the Mail’s survival tips to get through what promises to be the coldest spell since 1997, our attention is drawn to sunnier climes.

And in particular to the 10 contestants gathered in the Australian jungle (or at least a set that looks vaguely like the Australian jungle) for the third series of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

And it is already shaping up to be the smuttiest show yet, says the Sun, as a jungle training class descended into a Carry On sketch yesterday.

The Star also reports that pint-sized “pop hunk” Peter Andre and “toff” Lord Brockett are battling it out to see who can romp on the bush with top-heavy glamour model Jordan.

But the Express has news that a tornado with winds of up to 120mph is threatening to disrupt the start of the show after it swept through the Queensland camp.

“Torrential rain lashed the Gold Coast and wind blew down electricity pylons on the road up to the jungle camp,” it says.

Unfortunately, the storm has abated and power been restored to the cameras that will film the celebrities in the jungle over the next couple of weeks.

But the Express warns that more storms are forecast for the next few days.

“Sheet lightning lit up the sky and the thunder shook windows,” it says.

Jordan’s breasts, however, are built to withstand an earthquake of up to 7.8 on the Richter scale and remained unmoved during the whole experience.’

Posted: 26th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink