Comic Strip

‘IT took Jordan all of 30 minutes to strip down to her bra and knickers in the Australian jungle and get her picture on the front of all the red-tops.

‘Anyone not seen these before?’

And the papers have the audacity to sound surprised. ‘That didn’t take long!’ says the Sun; ‘…and it’s only Day One,’ splutters the Mirror.

If Jordan spends most of her waking hours flashing her bits at waiting photographers during an English winter, why do they think she’ll come over all shy during the Australian summer?

The Sun may be the official I’m A Celebrity… paper but the Star is ‘the ONLY paper in the jungle with the celebs EVERY DAY’, whatever that means.

And as such it has the exclusive news that Jordan is making a play for ‘randy toff’ Lord Brocket after dumping boyfriend Scott Sullivan on air.

‘I wouldn’t mind seeing his rocket,’ Jordan apparently said.

Meanwhile, former Aussie pop star Peter Andre was making his own bid for a few column inches by revealing that he once had a six-month relationship with fellow former pop star Mel B.

‘No-one even knew about it,’ he said. ‘And I don’t give a shit. You can do what you want and no-one will even hear about it.’

You’re right, Peter – YOU can do what you want and no-one will even hear about it, far less care about it.’

Posted: 27th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink