Anorak | True Grit

True Grit

by | 27th, January 2004

‘OF course, how much better things would be for Tony if he could find a way of not so much winning the vote on student top-up fees as not letting it take place at all.

‘Okay, who loaded it with ballbearings instead?’

A quick pre-emptive strike on a few of his political enemies within the Labour party would be just.

But political massacres are rarely if ever the done thing and, in any case, we’ve looked over the local munitions supply and can’t find a working gun or any weapon of mass destruction.

Alternatively, Tony could license George Bush and his team to count the votes, or even get Saddam Hussein’s former aides involved.

This way Tony could either poll less than half the vote and still win (a la George Dubya), or get all 110% (a la Saddam).

But, perhaps, better simply to prevent the rebel MPs from getting to Westminster to cast their votes.

And for this means to a noble end, Tony, like us, can take heart from the Guardian’s news that the artic weather is well and truly on its way.

But while Tony prays hard for a plague of snow and black ice, Brian Dobson sits in his bright yellow gritting lorry.

Brain oversees 784 miles of road and motorway in the Yorkshire and Humber area, including the bleak 372-metre Pennine summit of Windy Hill, Britain’s highest

You have already read 1 premium article for free today
Access immediately the premium content with Multipass

Or come back tomorrow

Posted: 27th, January 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink