Anorak

Anorak | Brought To Book

Brought To Book

by | 23rd, February 2004

‘MANY years ago, the TV show Record Breakers featured a man who had written the Lord’s Prayer on the back of a regular postage stamp. He had done this not once but around ten times, on the one stamp.

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We marvelled at his achievement, some even wanted to be like him, sharpening a pencil into a fine point and seeing how may words they could write on a single square inch of space.

But our record-breaking writer moved on and he (or one of his myriad acolytes) went to work at OK!, where he well and truly surpassed his old record by writing so many words on every square inch of Jordan’s enormous breasts that we have stopped counting.

Even Norris McWhirter, that keeper of world records, has lost count, and just says there are “lots” of words.

Jordan is now the stuff of record breakers, and for the record, she is a 32FF, which is bigger than the previous record of an EE and better than a DD.

Jordan may well go on to bigger things, perhaps pushing the envelope of record braking to an impressive GG or even, and here’s a thought, an HH.

Whatever she does, we know that OK!’s man with the quill will be there to write on it, covering every detail of her chest in minute detail.

Using a magnifying glass, we note that the latest words to appear on the glamour model say that she is she is desperately in love with Peter Andre and of a mind that Victoria Beckham is an “evil, conniving cow”.

Tackling these points one at a time, we note that Peter and she have yet to consummate their burgeoning love and that, according to Jordan, Posh has called her “vile”.

What happens next can be read in Jordan’s forthcoming autobiography, available in bookshops both good and bad and on the tip of her right nipple…’



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