Sunny Disposition

‘HAVING survived so much, it cannot be easy to shock the Queen.

‘Eddie’s a bender, Eddie’s a bender’

What with her mother’s teeth, Charles and Diana’s affairs and the discovery that her roots are less in England’s shires than the Teutonic mountains of Germany, the Queen has seen and heard it all.

But sailors aboard the frigate HMS Lancaster are not taking any chances. When the Queen sets foot on the ship this Friday, she will not encounter one member of the crew, who has been specially removed.

The scourge of the seven seas is revealed by the Mail to be a parrot called Sunny. And he has a track record.

When what the Mail terms ‘top brass’ visited the boat recently, Sunny, although locked in a cupboard, could be heard cursing and ranting.

‘Bollocks!’ shouted Sunny. ‘Arse!’ ‘Slag’! ‘You ain’t seen me, right.’ He whistled the theme tune to The Great Escape and yelled: ‘Zulus, thousands of ’em.’

‘She learns new words all the time and mimics what people say,’ says the ship’s logistics officer.

As such, it will be a relief to the crew that Sunny is not aboard at the time of Liz and Phil’s visit.

A few short minutes with them and Sunny could be banging on about slitty-eyed Chinese, Aborigine spear-chuckers, Indian electricians and why Princess Anne looks like a horse.’

Posted: 3rd, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink