Cereal Adulterers

‘WE are horribly stuck on our self-made image of Charles gently frotting Camilla as his granny, our dear Queen Mother, lies in state.

Poundbury village hall’s annual wind ‘n’ grind contest was a hit with the vicar and his wife

The link between Charles’ libido and funerals is proving to be an unsavoury one. It needs sweetening up, perhaps with a dash of Guinness and some milk.

If Charles wants to learn the full recipe, he should hot-foot it down to his model village of Poundbury, Dorset, and read the ingredients printed on the side of a box of Dorset Cereals’ High Fibre muesli.

A less costive Charles will then be free to tup Camilla without any need to be shown pictures of graveyards while his lover whispers Procol Harem’s Whiter Shade Of Pale into his ears.

He will wind and grind like a Jamaican.

As the Express reports, the locals on that Caribbean island are including a bowl of the cereal and a dash of the black stuff in their foreplay.

Jamaicans can’t get enough of the stuff, which they claim boosts their sexual stamina.

Although, what with Camilla being Camilla and Charles being the way he is, a bowl of the blend of fruit and nuts might not be enough.

Perhaps a coffin-ful of muesli should be the first order of the day…’

Posted: 5th, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink