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Anorak | Sign Of The Times

Sign Of The Times

by | 16th, March 2004

”PERSONAL hopes that got sidelined by the daily grind of life get their chance now… Luck and fun are linked to a face in a picture… Luck wears the number 11 on a T-shirt.’

Mystic Meg or Evil Sedna?

And so goes the daily ritual of looking at the Sun and what Mystic Meg’s road map for the day advises for and against.

But things are not as they usually are. Six billion miles from Earth a tenth plant is playing havoc with our mystic compass.

Meg is on the case and has been despatched to the outer reaches of the cosmos to find out what in the blue blazes is going on.

Meg has looked at the label and found that the new planet is called Sedna, a name it shares with an Inuit goddess.

It is also up to 1,200 miles in diameter, takes so long to orbit the sun that one Sedna year lasts 10,500 of ours, is almost as red as Mars and has temperatures that never rise above -240C.

Those are the facts, but Meg is just as interested in how Sedna will influence our fortunes.

‘First of all, the timing of the announcement suggests that anything is possible for mankind,’ says Meg.

And Meg means anything, pointing to the freakish performance of England’s cricketers in the West Indies (they won) and Manchester United’s defeat to Manchester City.

Such is the power it exerts over sport, the new planet should, perhaps, be renamed Fallon, after the miraculous jockey who has won – and lost – many races against the odds.

But things get stranger still in the Mirror, where Jonathan Cainer says that Sedna suggests the birth of an entire ‘new society’.

‘Forget the religious and political ideals that you have grown up with,’ says he. ‘A global ‘shift’ of perspective’ is about to occur.’

The man with the starry gaze says that Sedna heralds a new era of human cloning, an end to fears of global warming, a brand-new ‘world religion’ and triumph for Let It Flow in the 4:15 at Cheltenham.

It’s all just so tremendously exciting, and we hope, as the Express reports, Sedna proves to be true planet and not a lump of frozen rock.

But we’ll only know for sure at about 4:18…’



Posted: 16th, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink