Tracksuits You
‘MEANWHILE, back at Supernova Heights, Davinia Taylor takes a break from tucking into the last of what the Gallaghers left in the fridge to tell us about her plans for motherhood.
‘And this is the latest husband that I love to death’ |
David and I, says Davinia, with the merest hint of a regal Beckham tinge, will start trying for a family in the summer, but I want to get thinner first.
Poor, poor, Davinia, has she learnt nothing from being a Plus Oner?
The idea is to balloon to Feltzene proportions, threaten to explode during pregnancy and then embark on a diet regime that sees you shed stones and make a made-for-bargain-bucket video called Taylor Remade.
But with Jade Goody out of town, Davinia can at least bone up on the joys of big-boned motherhood with OK!s THE YOUNG SUPERMUMS special.
In case any of you drudges were in any doubt, OK! picks up on the zeitgeist and tells us: Now its all about having it all the fabulous career, the gorgeous husband and the adorable children, while still finding enough free time to slouch around the house in a designer tracksuit.
You see where youve been going wrong? Kate Winslet did. She threw out her less-than-gorgeous husband and got a new, fashionable one.
Angelina Jolie did. She lacked the adorable nippers so she went to Cambodia and acquired a photogenic one, and then styled his hair into a mullet.
And Halle Berry did. She waved goodbye to the silver shell suit that was sooo last year and got herself a pink tracksuit.
The message is that you can have it all. And if your partner doesnt deliver it to you, adopt a couple of children (Supermum Nicole Kidman did), swap your boyfriend for a career-enabling director (Kate Becksinsale did) and get with the programme.
Failure to do all of the above will result in a life of abject failure and crushing regret. You will not have it all.
Although if you are Davinia Taylor, other peoples leftovers might keep you going for a while ’
Posted: 6th, April 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink