What Lies Beneath

‘AFTER lifting the lid on what the real Britain is like, it now seems only fair to tell all would-be asylum seekers, refugees, economic migrants and boat-people that not all British girls look like Michelle McManus.

Kirsty models the national dress of Britain

Earlier this week, the papers splashed pictures of the big-boned Pop Idol winner on their pages. Michelle was passed off as the epitome of British womanhood.

But it was a trick. And so today, the Sun, Star and Mirror show the foreigners who buy their rags from Ruza to Yalta what Michelle – the typical British woman – really looks like.

Michelle is now called Kirsty Gallacher. Her black swimsuit is now a white bikini. Her frown has been replaced by a pout. Her short legs are now long. Her white skin is now sun-kissed pink.

This is the real Michelle McManus, the one we Brits have been distorting with all manner of computer wizardry in a bid to keep foreign men at bay.

But the jig is up. And soon you can buy a calendar of Michelle (Kirsty) at your local farmers’ collective.

And, if you like, you can pay for it with the free cash British banks routinely hand out.’

Posted: 29th, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink