Baaad News

‘GETTING the kids to like you, perhaps even to love you, is a challenge that not only parents and the Labour party want to take on.

‘You can’t pull the wool over my eyes’

The Times too aims at a younger readership today with its front-page story entitled ‘Bare Truth From World’s Oldest Shearling’.

The story is the inspirational tale of Shrek, the sheep that escaped from a New Zealand farm and roamed free for six years, during which time he grew an enormous matted fleece that was only taken off last week.

In his story, told in his own words, Shrek says how the reason he left the farm in the first place was because his sheep pals used to stand around staring blankly, like those stupid human beings.

And those are the human beings Shrek finds so comical, what with them being unable to grow their own coats.

Shrek then regales us with the time he went to an official dinner. He avoided the ‘mutton dressed as lamb and went for a vegetarian option: grass served on a bed of grass.’

And how when he met with Helen Clark, the New Zealand Prime Minister, he found her chaaaarming. ‘She went baaa and seemed genuinely surprised when I replied in English.’

Having displayed a rare gift for diplomacy, Shrek is now on his way to the Middle East.

There, Shrek will attend another dinner, although he won’t be able to tell you what he’s seen since he and the other guests will have just eaten his eyes.

But don’t cry kids, it’s only a story…’

Posted: 4th, May 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink