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Anorak | Footballers’ Wives

Footballers’ Wives

by | 12th, May 2004

‘SEEN the documentary? Read the text message? Well, now buy the official Beckham T-shirt.

Posh was worried that her husband was morphing into David Seaman

La Posh models the latest piece of Beckham-branded merchandise in the Sun, wearing a top upon which the legend ‘Mrs Beckham’ has been printed.

Nice though the top is, things have come to a sorry state when the wife of England’s leading footballer has to label her clothes so obviously lest they get mixed up on the bedroom floor with some other woman’s gear.

And it’s still worse when Posh realises that even her bald statement of identity is upstaged by other footballers and their wives, current, estranged and past.

First up is Ray Parlour, the Arsenal midfielder who looks like Charlie Dimmock in shorts and a jock strap.

His ex-wife, Karen, is claiming around 37% of the footballer’s wages, which would boost the £250,000 a year she now gets to around £400,000 and come on top of the alimony he pays to support the couple’s three children and a lump sum settlement of £250,000 and two homes.

The debate has caused the couple to go to court and, most vitally of all for a watching Posh, to command the better part of an entire page of news and photographs in the Mirror.

Posh is going to have to up her game if she wants to retain her title as Footballer’s Wife Supreme.

If only Day-vid had just roughed her up in bed. That way, the likes of the Mail’s Lynda-Lee Potter (‘Sorry, Leslie, but this brute won’t change’), the Mirror’s Sue Carroll (‘Is Leslie losing it?) and the Sun’s Jane Moore (‘Face the truth, Leslie…and leave bully Lee’) would be talking about the Beckhams and not Leslie Ash and Lee Chapman.

But even then, would it be enough, especially when Stan Collymore is around?

Until now, few had seen Collymore’s wife, who had managed to remain in the shadows while her husband parked the family wagon in a secluded lay-by.

But now the Sun uses a shot of Mrs Estelle Collymore to illustrate its story of how the former England footballer has been charged with threatening to kill her.

Collymore will appear before the beak later this week after he was arrested over an alleged attack on his estranged wife’s Mini Cooper S.

He is also charged with threatening to burn down his parents’ home.

Collymore, who once beat up his former girlfriend Ulrika Jonsson, denies all charges.

But guilty or innocent, it’s apparent that Posh & Becks are going to have to try harder than a T-shirt if they want to stay on top.’



Posted: 12th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink