Anorak | Life’s Not Fair

Life’s Not Fair

by | 19th, May 2004

‘NEVER mind the Amazonian rainforest, the white rhinoceros or even post-McFadden Westlife the shocking news in today’s papers is that the blonde is on the verge of extinction.

Charlize had spent many a lonely night since Ann Widdecombe went blonde

Stocks of blondes have reached dangerously low levels in many parts of Britain and, were it not for hair dye, would have almost disappeared.

According to the Mirror, for instance, 36% of women in Cardiff sport blonde tresses, but only 1% of them are naturally fair.

The situation is not much better in Bournemouth, where only 8% of the 43% of women with blonde locks have not had recourse to the bottle.

Bournemouth does have the consolation of being home to the highest number of blue rinses in the western world, but that’s another story for another day.

The Express is of the opinion that the whole ‘collar and cuffs’ debate is irrelevant.

‘Just being blonde is the only issue and if it comes from a bottle, so what?’ it says. ‘Eyes still follow you across the room in a way they didn’t when you were a mouse.

‘There are gasps and whistles where once silence reigned.’

Take Ann Widdecombe. Is the former Tory minister any less of a sex

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Posted: 19th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink