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Flour Power

by | 20th, May 2004

‘WHEN we heard that Ron Davis had interrupted Prime Minister’s Questions Time by throwing something, we shuddered.

‘Badger at 4 o’clock!’

Ever the pal of the dumb and beastly, we feared the former Welsh Secretary had lobbed a naked badger into the political throng.

But we were wrong. The Ron Davis who yesterday caused a commotion in the Commons is, as the Telegraph reveals, a divorced father fighting for the right to see his children after a five-year struggle.

He’d even spoken with Tony Blair once before in a broadcasted telephone call when the PM held his Big Conversation on London’s LBC radio.

Back then, Davis put his complaint to Blair, who replied: “I’d just like to have a closer look myself on how the courts are supposed to approach it now [equal rights for fathers] and write to you about it.”

But no satisfactory letter ever came, and Davis duly decided on a course of action that would see him and one Guy Harrison lob two flour-filled condoms at the PM.

The Times describes how the first missile fired by the fathers from the Commons’ Public Gallery at Tony Blair disintegrated in mid-flight.

The second shot, as the Telegraph illustrates with a helpful graphic, came from fully 40ft away and at an awkward angle.

It dipped, swerved and arched its way to Blair. And…a hit! Poof! An explosion of purple flour cascaded down Tony’s back.

While politicians cleared the air by flapping papers and brushing down their suits (as the Indy’s Simon Carr explains, “That’s the way to beat anthrax”), and the sports minister called the England cricket selectors about a great new talent, people began to wonder how such a thing could have occurred.

The Times has the answer – if you want to gain access to the home of British power and lob purple powder, anthrax, sherbert dib-dabs or grenades at the PM, you just need to bid more than the next bearded man.

The paper says that the tickets to sit in the Public Gallery came from Baroness Goulding, who auctioned two front-row seats for PM’s Question Time, with proceeds going to one of the many causes she champions.

She says she thought Davis and Harrison were charity workers of a sort and that she even planned to round off their day by shouting them lunch in the House of Lords.

Events meant that they never got their meal – so there are now two seats in the upper chamber’s diner up for grabs.

And they’ll go to the person who gives the best answer to our tiebreaker.

In 12 words or under, complete the following sentence: “I’d like to toss a badger because…”’



Posted: 20th, May 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink