Chest Amazing

‘REMEMBER Posh and Becks? Sure you do. He was the talented one – and she wasn’t. He had success – and she had a PR. He had blonde hair – and she had some of his woven onto her brown head.

For all the cuddles, Pete had still never gotten to within four feet of his lover

Well, anyway, the point is that they were like so much chalk and so much cheese.

But it need not always be that way. Sometimes the pair is ideally matched.

So we have Kerry McPadding and her Bryan. Anthea Turner marries Grant Bovey. Cliff Richard finds god.

Others celebrity couples grow to be like each other. And so it is with Jordan and Peter Andre.

Speaking from their retreat in Cyprus, the pneumatic Aphrodite and her Adonis are keen to tell the world how much they really, truly, honest-to-goodness love each other to bits.

But first they have to get something off their chests. Well, Peter does, pulling back his top to reveal a pert, tanned nipple.

This would be no great event were it not for the fact that throughout the interview with OK! Jordan keeps her chest under wraps.

Few of us have ever seen Jordan in a top, and the shots of her wearing a bikini over her orbs of fame are nothing less than a sensation.

Could this non-exposure be a sign that she is growing under Peter’s influence, just as his gratuitous nipple shot is so very her? It’s as if she has moved towards him while he was moved towards her.

But before he sleeps with Gareth Gates, gets impregnated by Dwight Yorke and puffs up his chest even more than it is already, he pulls back, does up his top and settles down.

And settling down is very much the order of the day, as the pair (now both wearing cleavage-revealing tops in a compromise of sorts), talk about being “soul mates” and having “kids”.

“Peter is like a male me,” says Jordan, clearly referring to her lover’s topless shots. “We both want to be loved – we’re both insecure, really.”

“What’s so amazing is finding someone who can stimulate my mind as well as other things,” says Pete. “It’s not about, let’s go to bed and have sex. We can just go to bed, watch a movie and have a cuddle.”

Katie agrees. “We always go to bed cuddling and wake up cuddling – always. We’re never apart.”

So it seems. Jordan has even taken a month off whatever it is she does to join Pete on his tour.

And that’s a tour in which he’ll be singing while she gets her tits out. Or is that, she’ll be singing while he gets ‘em out.

They are so close that it’s hard to tell which is which.

But whichever way it goes, you’re virtually guaranteed to see what for all the world looks like a pair of singing tits coming to a leisure centre near you.’

Posted: 1st, June 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink