Working Class

‘HAVE you ever wondered what the Royal Family would be doing if they weren’t being royal?

‘And I love you too, Dobbin’

Well, you need worry no more because - thanks to Hello! - we know what two of them would be up to.

First up is Zara Philips. “The public probably has a completely different idea of what I’m really like,” says Zara, as she amazes us all by leading two ponies out of a horse box.

Few could have guessed in a million years that Zara would like horses.

And fewer still would have ever supposed that Zara had hoped to compete in his summer’s Olympics, just as her mother and father did before her.

Zara is full of surprises, and we could be no more shocked by these revelations about the real Ms Philips had she whipped off her top to display a massive surgically-enhanced bosom and declared herself to be the new Jordan.

You might suppose Hello! was too dumbstruck after meeting with Zara to carry on but, ever the professional, the magazine puts its socks back on and sets out of a mission to discover what Prince William is really like.

“This is William as you’ve never seen him before at an official photocall with the media,” coos Hello! “Relaxed, jokey and more confident than ever, he was clearly in his element as he showed the ‘townies’ the real country life he enjoys at home.”

And that country is called the United Kingdom, and it’s covered in cow pats, green pastures and mud-splattered green wellies.’

Posted: 3rd, June 2004 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink