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Bear Facts

by | 11th, June 2004

‘BLOODY Pandas! You can hardly move in China these days without tripping over one of the lazy black and white furballs.

‘Who’re you voting for – Michelle or Ahmed?’

Far from having the sex drive of a eunuch judging a Vanessa Feltz lookalike contest, it seems that the giant panda has been mating quite happily away from prying eyes.

The Independent reckons that there has been a 40% increase in the panda population in the bamboo forests of southern China, although this can be partly explained by better counting.

‘We have been further, higher and deeper into panda habitat than ever before, finding panda populations that were not known to science,’ says Stuart Chapman, head panda honcho at WWF-UK.

‘Hearing about the findings was like all my Christmases rolled into one. We’ve got a second chance to save the panda and you don’t often get a second chance in conservation.’

Just ask the dodos – no-one gave them a second chance, did they?

Why scientists should be surprised to come across a colony of pandas hiding out in remote parts of China like ursine John Rambos we don’t know.

If the alternative was to have a ribbon round your neck and be sent off as a present to London Zoo where you were expected to perform a live sex show three times a day, wouldn’t you?’



Posted: 11th, June 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink