The Ginger Fleece

‘EVEN his most ardent fans could not have guessed in a million years that Charlie Dimmock lookalike Ray Parlour would be the new David Beckham.

Ray celebrates ‘a £1.8m victory for women’

But there is the footballer, all gingery and pale, occupying Dave’s usual slot on the front page of the Sun.

And there’s Ray’s wife – well, his former wife – the fragrant Karen, who this morning stinks of cash.

(Posh should not worry too much about Day-vid leaving her because, even in separation, front-page coverage is guaranteed, as is a massive chunk of her Dave’s future wages.)

Responding to the news that the Appeal Court has ruled that Karen Parlour is entitled to a 37.7 per cent share of all her ex-husband’s future earnings, the Sun is aghast.

To the Sun, this development creates the front-page headline ‘FLEECED’ and a double-page spread over which headlines like ‘Who dares weds’, ‘Lawyer: Parlour KO Will Terrify All Men’, and ‘Arsenal Star Taken To Cleaners Over Divorce’ are splashed.

It’s clear the Sun is not overly impressed with the judiciary that presided over this landmark ruling and wants the footballers who read its words to know it backs them.

For a more considered opinion, readers could turn to the Star, where the facts – the Arsenal player must hand Karen £444,000 of his £1.2m annual pay packet for the next four years – are briefly mulled over.

So, having seen the case from the Sun’s male viewpoint and the Star’s hermaphrodite stance, the Mail evens things up by claiming the ruling as a ‘£1.8m victory for women’.

And if you doubt that, you can take matters up with Anne Diamond, who rounds off her piece by saying how Karen ‘has helped society put a higher value on marriage itself’.

Silly us for thinking Karen just wanted to make her cheating former husband bleed in public when, in reality, she was just championing married life.

As the Mail reminds us, last year the High Court awarded Karen Parlour a £250,000 lump sum, £12,500 a year for each of her and Ray’s three children, £250,000 a year for herself and two mortgage-free homes worth in excess of £1m.

But it wasn’t enough. So she appealed. And she won.

Noting that original offer, it’s hard not to side with the Sun’s belief that footballer Ray has been fleeced.

Although what Karen would want with his ginger pelt is anyone’s guess – she’s already stripped it of most of the golden bits…’

Posted: 8th, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink