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Anorak | The Ring Cycle

The Ring Cycle

by | 28th, July 2004

‘A MERE 24 hours after chucking her engagement ring into the woods near her Formby home, Wayne Rooney’s fiancée Coleen McLoughlin was photographed yesterday…with a ring on her engagement finger.

An artist’s impression of what the Sunday Mirror’s story might have looked like

How could this be? It is a riddle wrapped in an enigma inside a mystery – and the Sun struggles this morning to make sense of it all.

“Was it the same £25,000 sparkler she flung away in a rage?” it asks.

Well, we’re no expert at rings, but we called in someone who is – the oft-engaged Tracy Shaw – and she informs us that it is the very same diamond and platinum ring that Wayne gave his 18-year-old fiancée.

“There was speculation last night,” it continues,” that Coleen had found it herself after throwing it into a wooded squirrel sanctuary.”

But how did she succeed where scores of children and Sun reporters had failed?

The Sun even brought a metal detector into the woods, despite the fact that they’re explicitly banned by the National Trust, without any success.

And National Trust warden Louise Mitchell warned that the ring would probably have gone already anyway, pocketed by a red squirrel or a magpie.

So, if it’s not a replacement ring and Coleen didn’t find the one she threw into the woods, how could she have been wearing the ring when she took her dog Fizz out for a walk yesterday?

The Sun is stumped, but luckily the other papers have a theory – yesterday’s front-page exclusive in the Sun was a pack of lies.

So, while the Sun buries its follow-up on Page 9, the Mirror gleefully plasters a picture of Coleen on its front page with an exclusive tag under the “We’re Fine” headline.

It speaks to Coleen herself, who dismissed as a lie “a ludicrous report” that she had thrown away the ring.

“I can’t say much,” she said, “but we’re fine.”

But others had more to say on the subject.

“It’s one lie after another,” a family member tells the Mirror. “It’s like some people want to see them ground into the dirt. It’s a bloody disgrace.”

And most disgraceful of all is the paper that started the whole thing, the one that broke the story about Wayne Rooney sleeping with a prostitute – the, er, Sunday Mirror.’



Posted: 28th, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink