The Third Man
‘IF Sven Goran Eriksson’s fate lies in the hands of Express readers, we advise the Swede to start packing his bags now.
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This week already, the readers of what improbably styles itself ‘the world’s greatest newspaper’ have cast their votes on issues from bringing back national service to, er, bringing back hanging.
And this morning they get to vote on Sven’s future, deciding whether the England coach should be sacked by the FA over his affair with Soho Square secretary Faria Alam.
We fear the verdict will not be kind – 97% voted to reintroduce national service, 97% voted to bring back hanging and we suspect a similar amount will opt to have the promiscuous Swede strung up by his balls.
And that is not the only bad news for Sven in this morning’s papers – the Sun says Faria was disappointed in him as a lover compared with FA chief executive Mark Palios.
Palios was an ‘amazing’ lover, according to Ambreen Sheikh (who has been given the task of putting across her friend Faria’s side of the story).
‘Faria said he was amazing in bed,’ Ambreen tells the Sun. ‘The best. She loved that he was older and she felt great with him.
‘It was Palios Faria loved. Sven was a poor substitute.’
He wasn’t the only substitute – the Mail says there is talk of a third and even a fourth man at the FA who made it onto (and under) Faria’s team-sheet.
And the Star suggests that the 38-year-old it has dubbed the FA Trophy could make £1m from selling her story if FA bosses decide to sack her.
‘The sexy secretary,’ it says, ‘who has kept dynamite diaries of her time in FA HQ, is poised to reveal the name of her third lover, as well as 56-year-old Sven’s views of star players like David Beckham.’
A mystery third lover; a possible fourth. A diary. Potentially embarrassing revelations about our top footballers
If we didn’t know better, we would suspect the hand of a Max Clifford engineering a bidding war between the FA and the newspapers.’
Posted: 30th, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
