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Anorak | A Prize Chump

A Prize Chump

by | 5th, August 2004

‘LES has never been the brightest penny in the jar but, even by his standards, dumping Janice for Cilla has got to be the stupidest thing he’s ever done.

Streetcars Named Desire

Cilla was determined to win back her man/meal ticket at any cost. Les was proving remarkably strong in resisting her ‘charms’ – helped by the fact that Janice was usually hovering in the background like a pit bull.

He’d even agreed to Janice kicking Chesney out so that Cilla would have no excuse to visit. But like a sexually transmitted disease, Cilla just won’t go away.

This week she turned up in the street at the wheel of a flash red convertible. “Hello, lover boy!” she screeched at a shocked Les. “Fancy comin’ for a ride?”

Fizz happened to see Les hop into the car and went running into the factory to tell Janice. “Right!” shouted Janice, grabbing her handbag and fags before getting into Patrick’s cab. “Follow that slut!”

By the time they’d caught up with the errant pair, however, Cilla had persuaded Les to try out the reclining seats and had managed to undo his trousers in about five seconds – demonstrating that practice does indeed make perfect.

Janice took one look at the pair and stormed off back to Weatherfield. “Yer not going to let that woman win, are yer?” Leanne asked her mum. “I am when the prize is Les,” she replied.

Les was hardly bothered at losing Janice once Cilla had told him that she’d been left a fortune by a mysterious long last aunt.

“I’ll need someone to protect me from all those fortune hunters out there,” she told Les, who took all of five seconds before

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Posted: 5th, August 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink