Shell Shock

‘ANTHEA Turner would do well to follow the lead of Big Brother’s Shell Jubin – not in showing off her nubbins to a horrified nation, but in turning her back on a life in showbiz.

Shell’s nubbins will not appear again until 2031

Yesterday, 23-year-old Shell did more for the cause of female emancipation that any number of Pankhurst sisters by getting her puppies out on Page 3.

But today the blonde art student (who has forgotten to put her top back on) announces that she is to cover up her curves for good and return to university.

‘The celebrity lifestyle isn’t for me,’ she tells the Sun, ‘although I have enjoyed the experience.

‘I’m returning to university as a postgraduate and will be buried back in my art books.’

The art world’s gain will ironically also be the art world’s loss – yesterday we learned that Page 3 is in fact ‘a modern art form’ which ‘tastefully pioneered the celebration of the female form’.

And the Mail this morning has reached back into the archives to recreate a famous shot of 1977.

It dresses former Page 3 girls Nina Carter and Jilly Johnson – both 52 – in high-cut leotards and silver boots as an homage to the famous shot of 27 years ago.

And, says the Mail, ‘time has been remarkably kind to the famous blondes’.

‘Recreating one of their most successful modelling shots,’ it says, ‘they look just as lithe and seductive as they did in 1977.’

We trust time will be as kind to Shell Jubin when in 2031 she is called on to recreate her famous Naked With A Lawnmower pose…’

Posted: 24th, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink