Ministry Of Porn

‘WITH Government departments changing names more regularly than an ex-member of Westlife, it’s hard to keep up with exactly who is responsible for what.

One of the sickening images

It’s as if a giant dog has walked over Tony Blair’s Scrabble board, as the DfE metamorphoses into the DfES, the DoE becomes Defra and the DHSS is reborn as the DWP.

And before you know it in this giant alphabet soup the Department For Work And Pensions has become the Ministry Of Porn.

The Sun this morning is at its outraged best at the news that a shock probe at the old DSS has discovered that staff accessed ‘TWO MILLION pages of filth’ on work PCs in just eight months.

One official alone apparently called up 103,000 hardcore images on his computer – which, by our calculation, equates to over 600 images a day.

(In an eight-hour day, that’s 75 images an hour or more than one a minute – hard work in anyone’s book.)

Others had pulled up sickening images of girls with names like Nikkala, Zoe and Shell, parading around with no tops on.

And some are believed to have used Government phones to call in and vote for their favourite Page 3 wannabe as part of a scandalous National Cleavage Week stripping for cash scam.

According to the Sun, the crackdown has already led to one conviction, 16 sackings and three resignations. Two are still under investigation and 211 have been disciplined.

But a source at the department tells the paper that only the worst offenders had been punished and the majority had been allowed to get away with it.

‘It’s like saying you can look at porn on the internet just as long as you don’t look at too much,’ the source said. ‘The DWP should be renamed the Department for Weekly Porn.’

A spokeswoman for the department said that in many cases it had been found that staff had picked up porn accidentally by ‘innocently’ following links from one website to another.

After all, a link that says ‘Click here for spunk-swallowing sluts’ might conceivably lead to the latest Government Health & Safety directive.’

Posted: 26th, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink