Anorak | Martin In The Mire

Martin In The Mire

by | 10th, September 2004

‘EASTENDERS producers have called in the cavalry to try and stop the ratings slide – admittedly it was a cavalry riding into Walford in an ice cream truck, but the first signs are good.

‘Not that bloody Rebecca Loos again!’

The Millars arrived in Albert Square this week – the family of Walford’s resident wide boy, Mickey. The family consists of dad Keith who hasn’t worked for several years due to his “bad back”, mum Rosie, who has a very delightful range of tracksuit bottoms, and 13-year-old twins Darren and Demi.

Darren has already stolen takings from the Queen Vic and Demi is eight months pregnant – so they should fit right into Albert Square.

Within their first week in Walford, they’ve already managed to start a family feud with the Fowlers.

Dad Keith managed to ‘acquire’ a new bed that Pauline had ordered when he found it outside their house. Mum Rosie is also convinced that Pauline fancies her husband, when she found her in their bedroom, fighting over the bed.

Hostilities escalated when Keith held an impromptu street barbecue, as you do in the East End of London, and managed to set fire to Arthur’s bench. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, “you’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh”.

Elsewhere in the Square, Kareena is back from Ibiza, complete with a sexy new image – or so producers hope. She’s moved back in with her brothers into the incredible expanding flat, which housed at the last count, six people in two bedrooms.

Spencer was devastated to discover that his ‘girlfriend’ Kelly wasn’t coming back. “She’s, er, found some more work out there,” Kareena shiftily told Spencer. As Kelly’s last job was as a prostitute, he’s got every reason to worry.

Someone else who should also be worried is Martin. While Sonia and Pauline were keeping an all-night vigil at the

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Posted: 10th, September 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink