Sticking It To Them

‘IF Molly Malone wandered around Dublin today, she’d be arrested for vagrancy and disturbing the peace.

‘I pray the smell of sweet nicotine never leaves my fingers’

Dublin is changing. Or, rather, the Irish Government is changing Dublin from a hedonistic centre of drinking excellence into a flatter version of Switzerland.

The Times says that having already banned smoking from pubs and outlawed drinking in public, the new plan is to rid the streets of chewing gum.

Smokers who have taken to chewing gum in place of puffing the evil weed may feel persecuted when they learn that a levy of 10% is to be placed on all packets of gum sold.

This will, as the report goes, create an annual haul of just under £3million, which will then be spent on cleaning the city’s streets of gum.

Dubliners who do not want to pay the tax are left with no option but to buy their gum on the blackmarket or else take to chewing their finger nails.

Although no-one - least of all the Irish Government - likes bits of nail all over the place.

So, it might be better if Dubliners just sit on their hands or force them together as if giving prayer, lest their fingers cause offence…’

Posted: 24th, September 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink