Give Her Ell

‘GIVEN Kerry McPadding’s absence, it’s right and proper that Darren Day and his pregnant girlfriend Suzanne Shaw both wore black for the OK! celebrity awards.

An homage to Kerry

Others, though, were not so sensitive to the public mood, preferring to flaunt themselves in pathetic bids to fill the massive void left by our Kerry’s tearful departure.

Just who does Jennifer Ellison think she is in that halter neck top that leaves so little to the imagination?

If Kerry’s diary were in full flow, we’d imagine she’d be using words like ‘slapper’ and ‘prossie’ to explain this pretender to her throne.

Indeed, it’s best to look at the celebrity set as they made their way up the red carpet to take their seats at ITV’s London Television Centre and wonder what dear Kerry would have written.

‘Jenny Powell is such a slag,’ Kerry might have said. ‘That may be Dolce and Gabbana she’s wearing, but it looks more like D&G on her. Or DOG!’

And there’s Rachel Stevens. ‘Who the bloody hell does she think she is, Rachel from Friends with her hair and things? Don’t make me laugh. What a dog!’

And there’s Vanessa Nimmo with Ben Fogle. ‘Just who the crap has she come as? She was only on Big Brother for two piggin’ minutes! It’s not like she won it or anything – not like I did in the jungle. She’s a right dog.’

Oh, it’s too much, we can’t ever hope to compete with the great Kerry.

So come on, love, pull yourself together. Shake a lettuce and get back to being the star you are…’

Posted: 12th, October 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink