A Few Bad Eggs

”I THINK it’s a shame this has to happen,’ says a spokesperson for the British Egg Information Service. ‘There are so many better uses for eggs than throwing them at people.’

‘Please do not feed the animals’

Sadly the voice of the all-powerful BEIS does not go on to elaborate what these alternatives are.

The Express could chip in with some advice, but it too fails to seek out even Jamie Oliver and find out what else you can do with an egg besides lobbing one at someone’s head.

It’s little wonder, then, that the nation’s youth are buying eggs by the dozen (and half dozen) to use as weapons.

As a result, Asda has placed its staff on ‘Egg Watch’, ordering checkout girls and security guards to be, as a spokesman for the supermarket chain puts it, ‘extra vigilant’.

‘We want to make sure our stores are aware that these kids are around,’ he says. ‘It’s just a bit of common sense – if we see eight in school uniforms with a trolley full of eggs, we’re not going to sell the eggs to them.’

No? ‘But if a youngster is buying half a dozen eggs with a loaf of bread and some bacon we’re not going to stop them.’

Going equipped with a wagon load of eggs sounds like a recipe for trouble – eggs, bacon and bread sounds likes a recipe for breakfast.

But we see in the Sun that this news has come too late to save Brian McPadding, who, while filming a video for his new song, was pelted with eggs by a gang of ‘cheeky kids’.

While chanting ‘Where’s you’re wife? Where’s your wife?’ over and over, the rascals tossed eggs at the newly single singing sensation.

But the gang stopped short of launching their bacon and bread at him, preferring to keep those for some other dastardly act of trickery.

Like turning them into sandwiches and reminding Brian of his porcine past…’

Posted: 18th, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink