Tit For Tat

‘WITH only 52 days until Christmas Eve, the Express runs its first story on presents for the holiday season.

”Do you want these giftwrapped?”

But this seasonal tale is not about the newest, latest, greatest must-have toy for the lovable-if-slightly-spoiled child in your life, but what dad can get mum.

Forget the vacuum cleaner with more suction power than a Bangkok strip club. Hang the trendy box of tissues with fast-action server. And purge your mind of the pair of tickets to Cliff Richard on Ice.

The perfect gift for the mum, aunty, grandma and mistress in your life – the ideal way to show off her new Comfi-Slax with patented EZ panels! – is with a nice new pair of breasts.

But you don’t have to go the whole hog because, with the new gift certificates available from the Transform Medical Group chain of cosmetic clinics, the women in your world can save up for the big operation you say they really need.

Gift vouchers can be bought from as little as £50 to as much as £1,000 and are redeemable against new noses, flatter tummies, fuller lips and those fabulous new breasts.

”Lots of husbands and wives like to buy their partner something different for Christmas and these vouchers are perfect,” says the group’s commercial director Liz Dale.

And they are – are they not? – the gift that keeps on giving…’

Posted: 2nd, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink