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Anorak | Royal Flush

Royal Flush

by | 3rd, November 2004

‘WITH the Queen building train bridges and mending electric fences between the British and Germans, we wonder what ”telly style bitches” Trinny and Susannah would have done in the war.

Trinny and Susannah had to both fit on the same toilet

The self-styled – and, some would say, hideously styled – fashionistas have, to the best of our knowledge, never been Nazis.

But surely, given their penchant for rudeness and the gift of laughing haughtily at others, they’re natural home was the Third Reich.

And before you set about defending former Easter Island statue Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine, her burly rugby playing sidekick, hear the Star’s news that the pair have been sniping about Wayne Rooney’s girlfriend, the ever-so-nice Coleen McLoughlin.

”Coleen is a footballer’s wife,” says Trinny The Tranny in a way that is not meant to be supportive. ”You do not really look at somebody having found their style until they are about 30.”

But while poor 18-year-old Coleen wipes away a tear, she’s also in the Mirror displaying her unique sense of style in ordering his ‘n’ hers toilets for her and Wayne.

The new plans for Wayne’s £3.5m mansion feature a gym that hangs over a balcony overlooking a pool, a sauna, a study, a games room, a home cinema and a three-car garage.

There’s no massage parlour, but there are two side-by-side toilets in the master suite.

Or thrones, as one former Manchester United star and his oddly-dressed wife would have it…’



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