Year We Go

‘TODAY is November 11th, Remembrance Day in Anorak Towers – the day we remind ourselves to go out and buy our new 2005 calendar for the office.

Your starter for a perfect 10

For the past ten and a half months, we have feasted our eyes on images of Vanessa Feltz in a variety of skimpy bikinis and swimsuits.

But who do we get to fill the heavy-boned former TV presenter’s shoes next year?

Do we go for the Heavenly Hunks calendar (see Broadsheets), the bare-chested boys of Portsmouth cathedral choir frolicking in the surf?

Or do we follow the Sun’s lead and shell out for a calendar featuring Manchester University students in various stages of undress?

It’s a hard decision, but eventually we have settled on the only calendar that can get close to filling the huge void that Nessie will leave - the Richard & Judy 2005 calendar.

With a dozen (albeit somewhat blurred) shots of Judy in her bra and briefs and Richard posing as the underwear model he was always destined to be, this is worth every penny of its £14.99 retail price.

And we’ll not listen to the likes of Paul O’Grady, who this morning tells the Mail that he doesn’t give a toss about TV’s favourite couple.

The man who has to dress up as a woman to get a laugh tells the paper that Richard and Judy are “snivelling” and “grovelling” to their guests.

And he reserves a special mention for Judy, promising that his rival chat show will be the winner in the ratings.

“Love,” he says, “even if you flash your boobs live on air, my show will trounce yours.”

He clearly hasn’t got as far as July in the new calendar…’

Posted: 11th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink