On Your Bike

‘BORIS Johnson may be a quintessentially British figure, but even his popularity among Telegraph readers is unlikely to win him the accolade of Brit Of The Year.

”Anyone know the way to Horsham?”

However, colleagues are insisting that Bonking Boris’s political career is far from finished, despite revelations that he has had an affair with his Spectator colleague Petronella Wyatt.

The married father-of-four was sacked as Tory arts spokesman at the weekend not for his adultery, but for lying about the affair.

However, the Indy suggests that the whole matter is just a case of life copying art – specifically, a comic novel called Seventy Two Virgins by a certain Boris Johnson.

In that book, a bicycling MP with a talent for self-parody mulls over his post-resignation prospects as an extra-marital affair is about to be exposed by a tabloid newspaper.

”Perhaps, in 10 years’ time,” he writes, ”he might be sufficiently rehabilitated to be offered the part of Widow Twanky at the Salvation Army hall in Horsham.”

Johnson himself was sacked, but the Guardian reports that he was intending to resign anyway over fears of a conflict of interest with his job as editor of the Spectator.

And friends insist that he will not be playing Widow Twanky in Horsham in a decade’s time.

”Only a fool would count Boris out after this,” a friend tells the Indy.

”Being disorganised is not an impediment to political success. Lack of brains, humour and concern for your fellow humanity is. And Boris wants for none of those.”

Besides, John Leslie has got his heart set on the Widow Twanky role…’

Posted: 15th, November 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink