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Pills & Thrills

by | 16th, November 2004

‘MEN who marry younger women can often be seen walking out of the chemist’s, chomping on a little blue tablet and jabbering on about the new lease of life their new wife has given them.

”And the winner in the Under-50s seed stitch category is…”

Anyone who has seen 60-year-old Michael Douglas since his marriage to Catherine Zeta Jones cannot have failed to spot a renewed bounce in his hair, a skip in his step and a new spate of articles about his addiction to sex.

But what of Catherine, the younger woman? What does she get from the deal?

Sure there was the £1m she got from selling the wedding pictures to a showbiz mag, but, by her own admission, that was chicken feed.

There’s the place at Hollywood’s top table dining with the showbiz elite, but that would have been hers by right of talent alone.

No, what Catherine got from her marriage to an older man was a sense of perspective.

She got to see that life is not all about parties, staying up late and dancing. Being with an older man enables you to look at life from a mature viewpoint.

So having bought her grandma a pair of new knees, the Sun says that 35-year-old Catherine is now turning into that lovely Zeta and has become ”obsessed” with knitting.

On the set of her new movie, the actress has so far knitted no fewer than 15 ponchos to give to family and friends this Christmas. And she plans to create 20 more.

Each poncho comes with label bearing the legend ”Personally made by CZJ”, and will make a, er, delightful gift for all those Zeta-Joneses who prefer a personal gift to something expensive, sparkly and Hollywood.

And while on the subject of cheap, the Sun’s cartoon above this story has Catherine knitting and saying: ”I haven’t enough wool to make Michael a willy warmer.”

We doubt anyone does. But we will not dignify such low-rent sentiment with a comment, preferring to wonder for ourselves what Catherine will make for her man.

May we suggest a travel rug, an all-in-one body stocking or perhaps a pouch to put his pills in…’



Posted: 16th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink