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Anorak | Seven Degrees Of Vegetation

Seven Degrees Of Vegetation

by | 17th, November 2004

‘ALL of you too shy to pick up an Ann Summers catalogue will have to wait until Sunday for the chance to see what Vic Reeves saw in the blonde underwear model who became his wife.

As advertised by Linda Barker

Nancy Sorrel will, however, have some competition for dad’s attention in the shape of Sophie Anderton, who is perhaps looking for love in red trousers and a bikini top.

But the real thrill will be in seeing which of the contestants – inspired by the (lucrative) example Jordan and her “insania” affair with pop acorn Peter Andre – bunk up together.

Two of this year’s batch have already expressed a keenness for a fumble in the jungle, namely Three Degrees singer Shelia Ferguson and Fran Cosgrove.

Having previously fathered a child by ex-Atomic Kitten Natasha Hamilton and dated uber-strumpet Jodie Marsh, Cosgrove appears to be less than choosy. Shelia could be in.

But then so could Brian Harvey, the former East 17 singer, who, like Andre before him, has been overlooked in celebritydom because of changing popular tastes and his lack of inches.

And looking at him, we remember that he did indeed once date Danniella Westbrook, who has previously appeared on the show.

And at once we see some kind of pattern emerging. Forget Three Degrees’ Sheila, this is seven degrees of (jungle) vegetation.

Consider that Cosgrove dated an ex-Atomic Kitten, who once sang with reigning jungle queen Kerry McPudding, who, just possibly, has bought one of the delightful leatherette and wood-style chairs advertised by past jungle favourite Linda Barker.

There are, we are sure, many other links between the celebrities who have graced the show and are yet to appear – notably through Darren Day – and we leave them for you to ponder.

And while you do, try to stick to the task in hand and not be distracted by trouser snakes, crawling Paul Burrell–shaped things and that poor unfortunate creature fighting to avoid being placed in Janet Street-Porter’s mouth…’



Posted: 17th, November 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink